"We Couldn't Have Done It Without Each And Every One Of You!!!

I, and everyone else at my company, recieved this e-mail today:

-----Original Message-----
From: *************
Sent: Wednesday, March 19, 2008 11:57 AM
To: Everyone
Subject: THANK YOU!!! - St. Patrick's Day Bake Sale

To All in *********:

The St. Patrick’s Day Bake Sale was a SUCCESS!!!!

Zillion and more thanks to the many, many wonderful people who helped with the St. Patrick’s Day Bake Sale through your scrumptious donations of goodies and also, through your support in coming by the tables and/or purchasing from the “Goodie Cart” that ******** brought around.

If anyone is looking for their container or platter, please come to the 1^st Floor Receptionist area.

Thanks so much!

We couldn’t have done it without each and every one of you!!!

-----End Message-----

This is the part that gets me:

We couldn’t have done it without each and every one of you!!!

Despite the triple exclamation points, they could have done it - and in fact did do it – entirely without me. I didn’t donate anything to the sale, I didn’t buy anything from the sale, I didn’t encourage anyone else to donate to or buy anything from the sale, and I in fact mocked the leprechaun voice that came over the overhead system, begging and pleading for employees to “coom and boy sahmthin’ at thee Synt Pahttie’s Deh bike seeyul.”

I would prefer she thank “those of you who donated items, bought items, and did not mock the leprechaun voice.” It would be more honest.

Yes, We Can.

Don't Fear Starbucks!

Great article from Slate magazine on the overwhelmingly positive economic impact Starbucks has on local, independent coffee houses nationwide, much to Starbucks' chagrin.

"...a new Starbucks doesn't prevent customers from visiting independents in the same way Wal-Mart does—especially since coffee addicts need a fix every day, yet they don't always need to hit the same place for it. When Starbucks opens a store next to a mom and pop, it creates a sort of coffee nexus where people can go whenever they think "coffee." Local consumers might have a formative experience with a Java Chip Frappuccino, but chances are they'll branch out to the cheaper, less crowded, and often higher-quality independent cafe later on. So when Starbucks blitzed Omaha with six new stores in 2002, for instance, business at all coffeehouses in town immediately went up as much as 25 percent."

It makes sense. Living in Sacramento since the birth of the coffeehouse craze, I'm thinking back on our limited coffeehouse choices back in the early 90's: a few Java City outlets, and a handful of independents such as New Helvetia, Cafe Mirage, Espresso Metro, and Capitol Garage. At some point, Starbucks came. Lots and lots of Starbucks. Every freakin' corner it seems like.

But what else happened? A million more independents (and chains) seemed to come right along with them. Those mom and pops from the 90's have multiplied exponentially since Starbucks came to town.

I love it when assumptions get busted, or at least strongly challenged. Proves we really need to think for ourselves in this world, do our homework, and not just assume things are true. We hear about Starbucks killing the local coffeehouses, and we all shake our heads and curse The Man. Turns out maybe that's not so true.

DuVoiced

I know probably not everyone else thinks I'm as clever as I think I am, but I thought my response to this poster on a professional listserv was hizzle-arious! It was the only response this poor fella got. I should confess, my fellow snarkers on that list gave me no props for it :(

But seriously, what kind of idiotic name for a company is "DuVoice"?

DuVoice - 2007-10-09 15:42:00 <[Phil]…>

I was looking for a stand alone unified messaging system to support my 10 SX-2000s and came across DuVoice. Has anyone had any experience with DuVoice both good or bad. Thanks, Phil

****************************

re: DuVoice - 2007-10-10 16:57:00 <[Buzz]…>

My parents got DuVoiced when I was five years old. It wasn't a great experience, I'd look somewhere else.

The Great Pizza Orientation Test

If you're not reading The Sneeze, it's one of the funniest blogs/zines on the web. The Great Pizza Orientation Test had me rolling.

Apparently, Domino's Pizza lets you do all your pizza ording online, and not only do you get to specify what you want on one half of the pizza as opposed to the other, you get to choose left side / right side! Steve from The Sneeze put them to the test...check it out!

Bike Safety, Helmets, Etc.

A couple of bike riders were recently killed in Washington and Oregon, and many bike bloggers are abuzz about it. Through reading about these tragic cases, I was reminded of one of my favorite bike sites:

http://www.bicyclesafe.com

in which Michael Bluejay offers his classic tutorial right on the main page: How Not to Get Hit by Cars!

We should be teaching kids and, in fact, all bike riders How Not to Get Hit by Cars, but unfortunately all we seem to do is wag our fingers at them about wearing helmets.

I always hated wearing a bike helmet, but wore one dutifully in my early 30's because of the belief that it would very likely save my life in the event of a crash, and it would be woefully irresponsible to do otherwise. But after doing some research about the actual effectiveness of that little piece of styrofoam on my head, in respect to saving my life or preventing serious injury, I gave it up.

So if you're a cyclist who hates wearing your helmet, or you like to nag people (like me) for not wearing a helmet, or suggest that I'm a bad example for the youth of our community for not wearing a helmet (yes, I've been told that!), then take some time to read bicyclesafe.com's summary of the whole helmet issue at

http://www.bicyclesafe.com/helmets.html

Oh, and make sure to always wear a crash helmet when driving your car...where you're much more likely to get killed or have a serious injury.

Obama Logos

Only because I've had a hard time finding large Obama O's online, I scanned my own. Here you go...spread the love!

Click for large

Click for medium

Click for small

Hollywood's Worst Manager

In the tradition of assholes crawling out of the woodwork to comment on the celestial movements of entertainers - in this case Owen Wilson's suicide attempt - comes this gem from Hollywood's worst manager:

Many Hollywood insiders believe Wilson's setback will be short-lived and that he will continue to enjoy big-screen success.

"He's loved," Bernie Brillstein, a veteran Hollywood manager who worked with John Belushi and Chris Farley, said Tuesday.

Brillstein said the apparent suicide attempt is "serious, but it's a singular case. Anyone can have a bad day, a very bad day."

A singular case Bernie? I'd say you of all people ought to see a pattern here. Does the former manager of John Belushi and Chris Farley really need to interpret pig entrails to divine the fate of actors in crisis?

And Bernie, I'd agree that anyone can have "a bad day, a very bad day," such as your former clients, dope fiend actors who also died in their 30's. John Belushi and Chris Farley had a couple of very bad days, I reckon. I'd go as far as to say the sunny optimism of this manager is a fucking death knell. Please keep Mr. Soothsayer from prognosticating the relative chances of reaching my next birthday. I'd sooner wear my pork chop underwear to a Michael Vick party.

What's Wrong with America?

What's wrong with America? No, not Chip, Mathieu and Randy bypassing idiots in the wrong line at the drive in movies (which is a story for another day), but several other things. One of which is U.S. companies who go out of their way, in fact hire law firms, to help them do everything possible to avoid hiring American workers.

This is an issue the left and right can probably find a lot of common ground on. However, when you watch news footage of this story on Fox News or Lou Dobbs, you see clips of hotel maids and farm workers. That’s typical right-wing reactionary bullshit scaremongering; these are not the people who are taking American jobs. We're talking chiefly about computer programmers and information technology professionals, and many companies are doing anything possible - within the bounds of current law - to NOT hire American workers.

In a nutshell, hiring software engineers and other professionals from overseas is much, much cheaper than hiring American workers. (American workers...sheesh! What with their outrageous demands for fair pay, health insurance, and a retirement plan...COMMIE BASTARDS! My great grandpappy was the last generation of REAL Americans, where you worked for slave wages in dangerous conditions, and when you got sick you just up and died and left your family destitute...no pansy-ass complaining about it!) However, for employers to offer a permanent job to a foreign worker, they must go through the U.S. Department of Labor’s PERM (Program Electronic Review Management) process by proving that they have diligently searched for an American worker to fill the job.

Watch this video compiled by the Programmer's Guild about law firm Cohen & Grigsby lecturing clients on how to get over on the system. It’s making huge news, and rightfully so!

The rest of the trip

OK, so I didn't blog the whole trip like I said I would, but I thought I'd just wrap this little adventure up. Well, the rest of the conference went pretty smoothly - no hiccups like the first night. My buddy Vincent from San Francisco and I pretty much hung out for the rest of the trip. We didn't always go to the same workshops, but we always connected for lunch, breaks, doing stuff at night, etc. We went to Tropicana Field on Tuesday night to watch the Devil Rays whoop the San Diego Padres in a weird interleague match.

Got interviewed for a Nortel marketing video about using their products, equipment, services, etc., and walked away with a free iPod Shuffle! Not bad payment for about a 25 minute interview. Not to mention the fact I'm still earning my salary. Life is good, business is great, people are wonderful, as the bumper sticker says.

Mr. Frank Abagnale (real life guy Leonardo Di Caprio's character was based on in Steven Spielberg's "Catch Me If You Can") was the conference's keynote speaker for the closing session. No time to write all about it here, but Mr. Abagnale was one of the best speakers I've ever heard in my life. I'm still blown away by it. Said goodbye to Vincent about noon (he was not flying back until today), and spent the rest of the day on airplanes. Great to be home, and adjusting to the time change OK. Will post pictures Vincent took at the baseball game when he sends them to me.